Things over the last week have developed and happened really quickly. I am still trying to process how I feel. I will get round to calling everyone and talking to everyone but right now I am selfishly putting myself and my well-being (both mentally and physically first).
On Tuesday I was informed I no longer had my job in Australia. This was the start of the collapse of my dream. A lot of people were in the same position and with the job market in Australia becoming more and more dire each day, thousands of people including Australians loosing their jobs, businesses shutting left right and centre as well as the daily reports that flights out of Australia were shutting down I was left with one option. I had to leave.
At the time this did not feel like a choice. I knew I didn’t have the financial ability to support myself for the next 6 months, which is potentially how long it would have taken to restore any normality. I had enough money in Australia to buy a ticket home, which was hugely inflated at over triple the normal cost.
The usual transit hubs were closing and it looked like there were only 2 options. Either Japan or Los Angeles. I managed to find a flight for $3300 (£1800) which is over triple the cost of the usual one way journey. Usually between $700-$1000 (£350-£500). That was to leave the country on Wednesday. Tuesday night instead of moving into my beautiful new house with my roommate I stayed in the hostel and didn’t sleep. Every hour I checked my flight to ensure it hadn’t been cancelled). On the Wednesday morning I arrived at Sydney airport and spoke to many other backpackers who were in worse situations then me. People have spent all their money on cancelled flights, money which has not yet been returned to them. They have nothing with no support from family. Us backpackers feel abandoned. In a position where only the wealthiest can leave, no support from any government and no prospect of employment. It’s hard to describe that feeling of loneliness and desperation that they were feeling. I was one of the lucky ones.
I got on the 14 hour flight to LA, again I could not sleep. I just had this fear in the gut of my stomach that my LA- London flight could get cancelled at any second. That American could shut boarders without notice.
I had met a previous colleague of mine, Dan at Sydney and without realising we had booked ourselves onto the same flight for the same journey home.
We both arrived at LA at 6:30am and started the 14 hour layover. I slept a couple of hours in the departure lounge. Neither of us wanted to pay for the extortionate airport food that looked to be honest rank. So we sat and we waited. We waited for either the flight to be cancelled or to be in the air on the way to London. It was during this time I found out one of my best friends who I had left in Australia had lost her job. The last of my friends in Australia. The girl I was supposed to be moving in with. I was heartbroken for her. She was scrambling to find a flight alongside other backpackers (the ones who could afford it). I couldn’t suppress the guilt and sadness that I felt. I couldn’t be there for her. I couldn’t help her.
Eventually 7:40 arrived where our plane started boarding. We rushed on and took our seats. I must admit the minute this plane took off we were relieved. We were on the home stretch. Only 9 hours until we would be in the UK. the staff on the flight were so kind. I even managed to get some extra food, I’m not going to lie, all I had eaten at the airport was the sweets in my bag and I was pretty hungry.
Landing at Heathrow at 12:30pm on Thursday I felt regret. Regret that I had left, I had left my life. A life I had worked so so hard for. During my job I had worked 6 days a week, long hours. Don’t get me wrong I worked with some of the most awesome, funny and intelligent people and there were aspects of the job I loved but it was hard work. But the reason we worked hard is because we wanted that life in Australia. We wanted to go out and eat nice food, have drinks on a Saturday night. Enjoy our time with our friends. I had made amazing friends in Australia. I loved going to the beach on a Sunday. I loved watching the bin chickens as I walked home from the station. There was however happiness at seeing my mum and dad. Something which i hadn’t done in 15 months. My mum and I cried when we saw each other. The stress was lifted. I was safe. I have missed my Mum and dad beyond belief. Also coming home and my cat still recognising me was amazing. He hasn’t left my side yet!
Right now I am back in the UK obviously in lockdown like everyone else. Now let me just repeat I am one of the lucky ones. I have the best family, I have friends I can’t wait to see. But despite this I am sad. I had to flee Australia and didn’t even get to say goodbye to so many of my friends. I am back in a place which should be home but instead I feel like I am in prison. I have no job, job prospects at this second are not high. I have no incoming money. I can’t see the friends that I have missed so much over the last 15 months. I have no purpose. I feel like a burden on my parents whom I can offer no contribution.
I know things will get better for me and I am so grateful to be safe but right now I am sad.
I am heartbroken at still seeing posts of all my friends who are stranded around the world knowing I can’t help them. All I would ask is that during these times, we remember these people in our thoughts. People who left home on their own, which is one of the scariest things I have ever done. In search of a better life who now have no support or income. People who are facing being unable to pay rent despite having held down multiple jobs over their travels. Please can everyone keep the backpackers in their minds, thoughts and prayers.
Most importantly during this time let’s remain kind. Remember how lucky we are to be in a country where the government will support us. That we have amazing NHS and essential staff working so hard to keep this country going. We will get through this, but only if we are kind and patient. These are luxuries not everyone has. These are luxuries that my friends right now don’t have.
I will be ok but for now on a personal note I ask that people be patient. I am not ignoring anyone. If I don’t respond it’s because as I said at the beginning I am selfishly trying to just come to terms with my situation which although better then most others it is just sad and hard right now. Last night I had a proper sleep for the first time in days. I am getting there.
To all those who made my travels the best 15 months of my life I cannot thank you enough. I wish you all well and know I will see many of you again.
Another big thank you, to those who got me home. You helped me to get somewhere safe, I will be eternally in your debt.
I wish I was ending my travels on a lighter and happier note. But reality is that things don’t always work out how you expect or hope. Everything happens for a reason and there will be a reason for this. I am safe and with people who love me. And for that I cannot express my gratitude.
Comments
Post a Comment